Evil Barney!

Something strange is going on, I was down at the hardware store trying to get a little something, something.

“Wait you go to the hardware store to pick up girls?” – Robin

There are four kinds of women who go down to the hardware store by themselves:

1. Single
2. Recently Single
3. Recently Divorced
4. Lesbian who will let me watch

“You could not be more evil.” - Lily

Sorry, five: Recently Widowed.

- Barney Stinson

"The Bracket"

How I Met Your Mother

Hot/Crazy Scale

The Hot/Crazy Scale is a graph used to display someone's hot-to-crazy ratio.
As Barney explains in How I Met Everyone Else, a person is allowed to be crazy, as long as they are equally hot. Ideally, you want your date to be above the diagonal line, indicating that they are hotter than they are crazy.
The diagonal line is known as the Vicky Mendoza diagonal by Barney, after a girl he dated who jumped back and forth across the line by shaving her head, then losing ten pounds, then stabbing Barney with a fork and finally getting a boob job.

The bottom-right corner of the scale is dubbed the Shelly Gallebsy zone by Barney, after another girl he dated who fell into that area after gaining twenty pounds and trying to kill him with a brick.
Barney explains the Hot-Crazy scale to the gang after Ted introduces them to Blah Blah, his crazy girlfriend at the time.

For more click here

The Freeway Theory - Barney Stinson

Relationships are like a freeway. Freeways have exits, so do relationships. The first one, my personal favorite, is 6 hours in. You meet, you talk, you have sex, you leave while she’s in the shower. The next exits are 4 days, 3 weeks, 7 months, then a year and a half, 18 years, and the last exit, death. Which, if you’ve been with the same woman all your life, it’s like ‘are we there yet’?

What do you think? 

For more click here

This seems a lot like Barney Stinson’s wedding card

xD

Barney Stinson - Best Moments

BARNEY STINSON - NOTHING SUITS ME LIKE A SUIT

5 REASONS TO SUIT UP!

You think suits are too stuffy? Or too formal? They make you feel aloof? Or something?

Well here’s an idea – think again!

Suits can be a (wo)man’s best friend. Yes, Barney Stinson thought so, and his LURVE for suits has sure become a contagious phenomenon. They EVEN keep an International Suit Up day every October 13th; could it get any cooler?

Said so by THE man himself!

If you STILL need to be convinced, well, here goes…

1) Chicks love men in suits. Men love chicks in suits. Or at least most of them do. They look dashing, bringing out your best features, and you inadvertently mind yourself (A suit can do that to a man) Except those amusing instance when you wear suit after months, if not years, and end up looking like you are attending a walima. Not good. If you have to do it, you HAVE to kill it, pull it off, do the thing. I mean it’s a suit, man! Don’t take it lightly! And just to reiterate: a suit catches the eye.

Or suit up anyway...

2) Suits help you get jobs. No, really. Here’s an example from Forbes itself!

“Despite a recent Yahoo! Hot Jobs survey that reported 25% of HR managers think wearing a suit to a job interview is too formal, the bosses and experts we talked to strongly disagreed.”

THEY think wearing suits shows that you ‘made an effort.’ They don’t care what you look like when casual, they want to see you in your best. So unless you want to scare/disgust/displease a potential employer, suit up! And an extra advice – ditch the gum =P

3) Suits hide the defects of your physique. Here’s an interesting fact: dark colors, especially black, are considered to make you look slimmer than you are. Explanation: black absorbs all light and colors, effectively hiding your ‘curves.’ In truth, dark things look heavier.Explanation: Color adds seriousness and weight, especially black. Okay, so the interesting fact is not so interesting after all, but all I’m trying to say is, it can work both ways, mostly in your favor. If you are skinny boy with stick-like  shoulders and arms, a suit can do the trick for you by adding some weight and if you are flabby and overweight (and appreciate food more religiously than you really should), a tucked-in shirt (I don’t need to explain this one =P) topped off with a conservative tie and a 3-buttoned coat should be the right choice for you… so go for it.

We'll make it so

4) Suits add ‘the feel’, whatever that may be. If it’s a class presentation, you’d want to look like you can take anything in the world, and suits might help get that feel, though of course I didn’t find out first hand. If it’s a high-profile event, you’d want to look more important than your usual pitiful self. Tuck your hands in your pockets to give that haughty-bored look, or drape that coat over one arm and chat away with friends… (the coat-draped-over-one-arm looks REALLY ‘kewl,’ but if you can’t carry it off and there’s a probability of it looking like someone ELSE gave you his coat to carry, don’t even try! You’ll end up looking dumb, or worse, funny)

or a gir

5) It is much better to be overdressed than underdressed.There are million occasions when you are afraid of standing out due to formal attire, yes, I understand. But think of this, if you are overdressed, you can get rid of the coat and tie, and roll up the shirt sleeves, but if you are underdressed, you’ll hardly resort to an invisible jacket present in the trunk of your car. And trust me; you don’t want to feel like a stupid, small mouse among people, read: irritating, conceited people looking for excuses to trample upon your self-respect, in their corporate best…

Why Does Barney Stinson Wear A Suit?

Neil Patrick Harris plays the role of Barney Stinson on the hit show How I Met Your Mother. Barney is a 30-something year old Manhattan womaniser who's trademark is that he is always wearing a suit. Do you know why he always wears a suit? Well suit up and let's find out!

Barney Stinson is a member of the How I Met Your Mother cast and he is played wonderfully by former child doctor Neil Patrick Harris.   How I Met Your Mother is based around a quintet of friends who live in New York – Ted, Lily, Marshall, Robin and Barney.    Barney is always seen wearing a suit, in fact in one episode we see him wearing a ‘pyjama suit’ to go to bed in!   The suit ties in well with his pithy catch phrase – Suit Up, but why does Barney wear one?

The story behind the suit is revealed in a flashback when we see a very different Barney than the Barney we’ve all come to love – a young and vulnerable Barney who was totally in love with a girl named Shannon.    Shannon left Barney for a suit-wearing womanizer.

Barney Stinson’s response was to totally change the person he had been – a young, idealistic virgin who wanted to join the Peace Corps.   Now having also met his mother on an episode of How I Met Your Mother Barney may always have turned out as a bit of a sleaze, but would he have been a suit wearing one?

Barney went out and lost his virginity to a cougar friend of his mothers and brought a suit.   In his mind his suits are one of the most important things and even rank about girls!   He tries to convince his friends that wearing a suit will increase their chances of getting the girl.....especially the ones with daddy issues and this is how his Suit Up catch phrase originated.

His cry of Suit Up keeps being ignored by Ted, but one night he hits the town with Robin and she turns up wearing a suit.   “You suited up,” I think Barney may have had to hold back a tear, but then again it could have been some of his self-confessed awesomeness leaking out!   Snowsuit Up and Wetsuit Up are different variations on the catchphrase that have been used on the show.

Would you date a guy in a suit?    Well it seems to be working for Barney Stinson which is probably the real reason why he continues to wear one.

Barney also wears a suit to work.....this suggests that he is in management.   A suit, affluence all point to a great job, but when questioned he merely laughs it off although he did make this statement at one point - The things I know about this company, I can never be fired. I might find myself ashore with no fingerprints or teeth, but I can never be fired.   Now is this a hint at the Mob and don’t television mobsters always wear suits????

Maybe wearing a suit has just become a habit and if you tried to put Barney Stinson in a pair of jeans and a footy jersey it would be so far out of his comfort zone he may lose a little of his ‘awesomeness.’   I think in reality he was showing Shannon that look if that’s what you wanted you only had to say.....the next thing he knew he’d discovered sex and the suit is like a good-luck sex charm.   

The answer to the question – why does Barney wear a suit is – it’s all Shannon’s fault!

The PLAYBOOK par Barney Stinson

Known for his ability to “scam, con, hustle, hoodwink, gambit, flim flam, stratagem, and bamboozle” women into the bedroom, it’s safe to say that Neil Patrick Harris’ character goes to any means necessary to sleep with women. Thanks to the recently released book The Playbook, you too can learn how to “Suit up. Score Chicks. Be Awesome” just like Barney Stinson.

Top 10 Plays from Barney Stinson’s Playbook

1. The One Week To Live: Without going to specifics of whatever disease/illness you are about to profess that you have, you simply display symptoms (such as coughing or wheezing) to the woman of your sexual desire until she asks you what’s wrong. Then instead of telling her the truth — that you want to get into her pants — you tell her “you’ve only got one week to live” before saying that your ultimate dream before dying is to “share the intimate company of a woman.” According to Barney, the success rate is 50%.

2. The Author: If you have your eye on a co-ed hottie and she’s in the library reading (or anywhere where reading a book is appropriate), go up to her and ask how she likes the book. Memorize the author’s name (as long as it’s not a woman writer) and then BAM! Hold out your hand and introduce yourself as the author. According to Barney, this will get you back to her place for  “speed read.”

3. The I’m Joining The Marines: This play apparently draws in patriotic chicks or anyone that doesn’t want to send a solider off to war without a special night left in their mind. In order to fulfill this play, Barney recommends you buy “your target a drink” and then after you are in mid-conversation with her, tell her you’re joining the Marines tomorrow. What’s left to do after coming out as a newly enlisted Marine? According to Barney, there is only one thing: “Sleep with her.”

4. The Fireman: If you want to get your girl hot and bothered, tell her you’re a fireman. According to Barney, if you really want to carry this play out — get a Dalmatian! With a success rate of 25%, Barney claims that all you have to do is tell her you’re a fireman and it will be no time before you “stop, drop, and roll with her.” However, he does warn that if a fire does break out anywhere near your target, you’re going to have to step up to the plate.

5. The Anniversary of My Wife’s Death: So, you go sit alone in public with a single rose in hand. When you see a hot girl, tell her that you are mourning the anniversary of your late wives death. She’ll feel guilty, and according to Barney, you’ll be golden. If she has being a bride on the brain, she’ll think to herself “This guy was a catch … he was married” and give into your every desire, especially ify ou tell her that you can’t be alone that night. This play is allegedly 69% successful, and it helps if you have a way your wife passed on to tie into your story.

6. The Brian’s Friend: Everyone knows someone named Brian, right? According to Barney, all you need to do is see the girl you want and say to her “Hey, it’s great to see you again! I feel silly, I forgot your name.” When she insists she’s never met you before, simply say “I’m Brian’s friend.” It’s bound to work with its 90% success rate.

7. The Other Jonas: What girl isn’t obsessed with the Jonas Brothers these days? Dress up like a Jonas Brother, and then hit up your local bar and talk loudly about going on tour with your little brother’s around the world. When she asks you what tour you’ve been on, tell her you’re related to the Jonas Brothers. According to Barney, this works 70% of the time because she wants to get close to the fame.

8. The Missing Cat: This one will work on animal lovers, and what girl doesn’t love animals? Walk around your neighborhood or your local city streets and grab the next “Missing Cat” flier you see. Go to the local animal shelter, buy a cat that looks similar to the “missing cat” and then call the owner and deliver it to her. According to Barney, “83% of cat owners are female while 100% are lonely,” so this play with a success rate of 50% could help you get lucky.

9. The Billionaire: This play gives you something to work for. It has two easy steps. 1: “Accumulate a billion dollars.” And then 2. “Sleep with women.” Barney swears this will work with a 100% success rate and it attracts “any woman throughout space and time,” although it sucks to have to pay taxes.

10. The Hot Dude: This may be the easiest play out of The Playbook. All you need to do is “be really attractive” and then according to Barney, “have sex with chicks.” The end, and apparently it’s 100% successful — if you have a handsome face and a swimmer’s body.

Want to read more plays and learn all the ropes on scoring with women? Check out The Playbook: Suit Up. Score Chicks. Be Awesome. From the authors of The Bro Code and Barney Stinson with Matt Kuhn. It’s only $5.49 right now at Amazon!

Who gonna be the wife of Ted?

Who do you think will be Ted's future wife?
she could be robin may be! or  Victoria, why not! may be Karen or zoey, may be another ex of ted or a girl we didn't met yet! What you think?
Vote here http://nwr-5.blogspot.com/
Thanks :)

The Bro Code

The Bro Code is a set of rules, seemingly started by Barney. A published version of the book, first shown in The Goat is now available in paperback and audiobook. The published version was written by "Barney Stinson with Matt Kuhn"

To order The Bro Code Visit http://www.amazon.fr/
To know more about the Bro Code and see other videos, Visit our page Barney's Books